Sayonara Otousan

2th March 2015 was the day I lost my father forever. There is no words to describe the feelings. There will be friends and family members to tell you that they understand what you are going through. To some extend maybe they do, but in reality it is far from truth. They do not share the same bond you had nor do they share the same name. They do not live in the same house as you do and they don't have that love and hate relationship you have with your parents. In my heart I will always tell 'yeah sure you understand'

The reality of it is I am an old spinster who lives with her parents. The relationship I had with my parents surpassed all those relationship any child had with their parents. When we love we really do but when I say this most of you will said of course we love our parents but do you really show it? Do you hold their hands when they are sad? Do you hug them all the time? Do you kiss their cheeks? Do you ask for forgiveness when you messed up? Do you fight with them? Do you say I Love You every single day? Do you did more than that? 

So when people say I understand what you are going through, just nod your head and acknowledge their sincerity. They wanted to comfort you and its the only way they know. 

I am 32 years old lady who lost her dad and still felt like a child. I couldn't sleep for the first three whole days because I missed him. He was a father who loved me and was proud of me always. In a family who prefers first born to be sons he was different. He really loved me. Now I missed him so much. Ya ALLAH please place my abah in jannah with YOUR love. Please look after him as how he had look after me. Aamiin